Monday, November 18, 2019


Happy Monday, friends!  I took another little mini break from blogging last week so I could use that time to get started on my Christmas decorations.  It's a process and I seem to get more intense every year.  But more on that later this week.

You guys may have seen my Instagram Stories last week when I was talking about Ed Hardy.  I got some of the funniest messages from y'all!  In case you missed it, here's the story.

My husband is a borderline hoarder.  He hates to throw things away.  I've told y'all this story before I think but when I was pregnant with Matthew and we were setting up his nursery, we ordered a gorgeous glider from Pottery Barn.  And within a couple of weeks, it broke.  We contacted them and they took care of it ASAP and sent us a brand new one.  I don't even remember HOW the other one was broken but it wasn't least not for our skill level.

Try telling that to my husband.  Instead of donating it, sending it to Goodwill, throwing it out...whatever...he hauled that giant, super heavy, broken glider up our attic stairs and left it there. It has been collecting dust ever since.  Almost 12 years!  He says that surely there's a way to fix it.  And you know what?  He may be right.  BUT WE AREN'T GOING TO DO IT BECAUSE WE GOT A NEW ONE, DUDE!  It will sit there until the day we leave this house and THEN I'll demand it be done away with.  You'd think I was asking him to get rid of his baby pictures or something.

There is also a very big (and out of date) flatscreen TV sitting in Mason's bedroom closet right now too because of a very similar situation. 🤦‍♀️

But back to my story.  For the past year (he says a few months, I say a year), there has been a laundry basket in our laundry room that has been full of his old tshirts that I asked him to go through and throw away and/or donate.  He has 7 million tshirts, y'all.  And that is only a slight exaggeration.  His black athletic shorts collection comes in at around 5 million.  

I've been asking him to please go through all of that crap and clear out some space in our laundry room forEVER.  I hate to be a nag but dang.  After awhile, I just got used to the pile of overflowing tees and stacked another basket on top and used it instead.  (You do not want to see our laundry room.  If we ever move, a bigger laundry room is #1 on my wish list.)

So last week, when I walked into our living room and saw that Craig had emptied out that giant basket packed with shirts and was sorting them, I was practically giddy.  I may have squealed. There was definitely some hand clapping.

I also knew if I didn't sit there and help him make some decisions, he'd end up keeping 90% of those stained, yellowed, holey tshirts from 2003.  And someone needed to supervise.  I made myself comfy and got ruthless.

He held up one by one and I convinced him to toss all the ones that were disgusting and/or had holes.  So about 50% of them.  But the others were harder to convince because they were tees he used to wear nonstop back in the day.  I hated most of them then and even more so now.  Some weren't so bad.  They were just not meant for a 40-year-old suburban dad.  He had a ton of super random shirts with weird designs or ironic sayings on the front.  Ummm no.  They had to go.

And then we got to his Ed Hardy collection.

Y'all.  My husband has never been trendy in any sense of the word.  He's never cared about trends or been able to pull off skinny jeans, loafers without socks (or loafers with socks really), tight pants, jewelry of any kind (other than a watch and his wedding ring).  That's just not him.

But when he went through a phase where he wore Ed Hardy tshirts back in his playing days when he was definitely at his "coolness prime", it was fine.  Ed Hardy tees were SUPER popular in the 2008-2010ish years. It was the trendiest he's ever been. I mean, we probably looked pretty cute together with him in his Ed Hardy tee and me in my Juicy Couture velour tracksuit and Uggs. ;) (Not gonna lie.  I loved that trend.  So comfy.)

(Check out Madonna rocking both the Ed Hardy tee AND the velour pants.  #yesgirl)

 Britney rocked the same look too.  Why did we ever think this was cool?

An Ed Hardy spokeswoman said Britney Spears was hoping to <a href="" target="_blank">collaborate on a children's clothing line</a>. Spears was one of the celebs who popularized Audigier's early Von Dutch trucker hats.

And then came the downfall of the whole brand.  Jon and Kate Plus 8 was at its peak when Jon and Kate Gosselin filed for divorce.  Things got nasty and Jon seemed to have a bit of a mid-life crisis (at 32).  He went from a simple, frumpy, meek suburban dad of 8 kids who seemed to cower from his cold and critical wife to a young Hollywood celeb wannabe.  Unfortunately, he wasn't seen as young...or cool.  Definitely a celeb but not the cool kind.  He started trying to hang out with celebrities in Hollywood and made himself look like a total a-hole, honestly.

And if you remember...he was ALWAYS rocking the Ed Hardy.  Do y'all remember this mess?!  

Image result for ed hardy

Image result for jon gosselin ed hardy

Image result for jon gosselin ed hardy

Poor Jon.  He killed the Ed Hardy brand.  No one wanted to be seen wearing the same things as Jon Gosselin.  He sucked the coolness right on out of it.  And it literally died.  The Ed Hardy brand was sold in 2011 and I read several interviews that said that Jon Gosselin wearing their brand completely tanked it.  (They also partly blame the Jersey Shore cast as well, to be fair.)

I mean, that'll kill anyone's self-esteem!

But Craig did NOT want to let go of his Ed Hardy tees.  He hasn't worn one in years (thank goodness) but I will admit to sleeping in them from time to time...they are pretty soft.  But it was time to say a giant PEACE OUT to those shirts.  After showing him the above proof that they are no longer cool (and haven't been in almost 10 years...) and WHY, he relented and they are now in the donate bag.  #mamawalwayswins

I wish I'd have taken pictures of some of the other shirts he wanted to keep but unfortunately, they are in the dumpster.  Bye bye.

Now if we could just tackle the rest of his closet.  Starting with the jeans I just saw folded up oh so neatly with a giant rip in the crotch...🤦‍♀️

PS:  I think Jon Gosselin is actually scheduled to be on Dr. Oz today (Monday) to talk about all his issues!!  Crazy coincidence!



  1. So I’m not the only one that deals with this!

  2. I am dying! This is the best way to start a Monday. Your husband sounds so much like mine; not a trend in sight, but random (and sometimes disgusting!) t-shirt hoarding for days!!! I laughed so hard at "There was some hand clapping!"

  3. This is hilarious! I love your storytelling style. I never understood the appeal of EH back then, and you're right, it's definitely PAST prime now!

  4. Loved this! My husband is the same!! My husband doesn’t care about trends. He will wear a blue or green Polo and dark jeans from Old Navy with old, brown slip-on shoes to meet billionaires who own planes that he designs. He swears that most of them wear t-shirts/hoodies with jeans half of the time so he doesn’t care :)

  5. I love this blog post.It made me chuckle.


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